The Last Time I Committed Suicide (1997)

Told from Neal Cassady’s perspective, in a form of a letter, the film follows his life before and after the suicide attempt by his longtime lover, Joan. Demonstrating Neal’s active mind and ever changing thoughts, the film jumps back and forth between before and after the attempt. The story begins the day of Joan’s suicide attempt, with Neal sitting in the hall outside Joan’s hospital room. The story then jumps to the day before the suicide attempt, where a rain soaked Neal whisks Joan away from her job. They have an intimate night together. After, she sits on the bed, sad, but Neal keeps professing his love to her. The scene returns to the hospital room, silence between them. Neal is told he has to leave.

The story moves ahead, with Ben visiting Neal. He asks Neal if he has been back to the hospital to which Neal replies no. It cuts ahead to Neal wide awake, drinking coffee and eating bread with Ben. In a manic state, Neal tells Ben about the story he wants to write. Neal encounters his friend Harry, who suggests the two of them pick up some girls and take them out on a road trip in a stolen car. They all drive out into the country, flying down the roads. Later, at Neal’s job at a tire plant, Neal’s friend Jerry finds Neal obviously high, and saves him from getting in trouble.